


Not Quite Batman

by Fanhag102



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, Hulkeye - Freeform, I Don't Even Know, also slight Angry Birds, slight SteveTony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-21
Updated: 2012-09-21
Packaged: 2017-11-14 18:40:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/518318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanhag102/pseuds/Fanhag102
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seriously random, short little ficlet with only slight hints of pairings and not really any plot but it's short and cute and shit, okay? Also people are in-character and Avengers are compared to Justice League heroes. Which is always fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Quite Batman

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t even know, I just started writing and this happened.

“Stop squirming, Asshole,” Clint grumbled as he sat atop a run-of-the-mill henchman who was determined to get away, though both his hands and feet were tied from the trick arrows Clint had sent at him a few minutes earlier.

“Can someone get this guy for me?” he asked, glancing at the other Avengers who were busy leading away the rest of the henchpeople that had (tried) to sneak into their tower early in the morning. 

“Hulk help,” Hulk said, trotting over, shaking the floor as he did, and bending down to pick up the still-struggling henchman. Clint leapt out of the way to avoid being grabbed by him instead. 

Clint stood up and brushed himself off, meandering over to where Tony was just making a face at the back of Fury’s head as the SHIELD commander strode out of the building, a few agents pushing captive henchman following out after him. Tony glanced around the destroyed living room (courtesy more of Hulk than any intruders) and sighed. Time to refurbish the tower again. 

The battle had been so quick, Tony hadn’t even had time to get his suit on. That meant that Steve had spent the entire less-than-ten-minute fight arguing with Tony and trying to make him hide so he didn’t get hurt. Tony was, of course, having none of that, which just made Steve even more frustrated as he flipped a henchmen over the couch without blinking an eye. 

Clint didn’t see Steve around anywhere, so he assumed the super soldier was off sulking and preparing some creative punishment to implement on Tony at a later hour. When Tony noticed Clint approaching he gave the archer a reluctant smile and an even more reluctant compliment.

“Not bad, Barton. How’d you know they were planning to attack us today?”

Clint smirked and replied,

“The other day I noticed a SHIELD agent acting really weirdly so I followed her, and overheard her talking on the phone to the leader of these bozo’s. Mentioned something about a raid, sounded interesting, so I followed up on it. I’ve been tracking these guy’s calls for a week. I didn’t know they were raiding us until a few minutes before they came bursting in, otherwise I would have warned you guys sooner.”

“Not bad,” Tony repeated, and Clint smirked triumphantly. 

“Yeah, no big deal. I’m just basically Batman.” 

Natasha appeared out of the corner of his eye as he heard Tony guffaw. 

“Excuse me, you’re Batman?” 

Hulk slowly returned to where they were standing, having (hopefully) gently handed off the henchmen to a SHIELD agent who would know how to properly handle him. Clint glared sideways at Tony’s shocked expression and replied firmly,

“I’m like a detective, a shadow in the night, atop buildings, watching over the city!” 

Tony rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, Green Arrow.”

“Ey! You see any green on me, Cyborg?” 

Both Hulk and Natasha were silently watching Clint and Tony’s exchange now, and then Steve appeared from out of nowhere just as Tony raised his nose and said,

“If anyone is Batman, I think we could all agree it’s me.”

Clint snorted and Tony shot him a look. 

“Hello!” he said loudly, motioning to himself with broad gestures. “Billionaire playboy who’s parents died when he was young—”

“Tony you were 17—”

“—heard the call of justice and designed weapons to fight for the common good! Sound familiar to you? I even have a sassy British butler who looks after me. BATMAN!” 

Clint huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“JARVIS is not a butler he’s your artificial intelligence you dolt!”

“You do realize I named him after my actual butler who raised me. Face it Clint, I’m Batman. And you are the Justice League’s version of Robin Hood.” 

“This is bullshit!” Clint exclaimed. “You are so not Bruce Wayne! His secret identity is his most precious possession. You were Ironman all of three times and you decide to let the world know it. Batman would never—”

“Boys,” Natasha interrupted softly. Clint paused and turned to her, slightly worried about the pleased expression on her face. “It’s cute that you think either of you would ever have the kind of badass-ness that Batman does, but the truth is… you are both just idiots.” 

Hulk and Steve laughed at the hurt expressions on both Clint’s and Tony’s faces. Steve then walked over to Tony and laid a hand on his shoulder, smiling at him and saying,

“There’s only one Batman, Tony.” 

Tony pouted, then grinned shyly up at Steve, who just chuckled. Hulk then grabbed at Clint, lifting him in the air and saying with a slightly terrifying smile,

“Hulk like hawks better than bats anyway.” 

Clint rolled his eyes, resting his elbow against Hulk’s arm, but his lips did turn up a little bit despite himself. Maybe just being Hawkeye was good enough.


End file.
